We are all humans and we can’t change the way we think and beliefs easily. The main cause of an argument is that two people, who have different opinions, believe that the other one is incorrect. There are two kinds of argument a good argument, which shows what position a person holds, allows others to present their point of view, helps arguers reach and understand new views and reasons for those views, and does not stomp on people as well as bad arguments, in which each side of the argument try defending themselves without understanding the other person’s point of view. Sometimes arguments take place without us realizing it because our brain tries to associate the situation with a similar situation that you were in before and this makes you act the same way you did before.
Our brain is set up to believe that whatever it thinks is correct even if it is shown that it is not correct and that is the problem. What I’m arguing about is that we can try to prevent these arguments, and this can be achieved by only understanding what we are arguing about. Many people start an argument without knowing what they were fighting about in the first place because when people start in discussions, they usually start branching into other topics that are not related to the current topic. This happens all the time and it is very hard to prevent it from happening but that is what makes an argument grow BIGGER and BIGGER. The problem is that you don’t know what the other person is hiding for you, for example, I once entered into an argument with a close friend of mine and both of us just stared remembering actions and arguments that happened in the past and are occurring in almost the same way. This made the argument between us very intense and it lasted for weeks.
“You can also learn a lot about people from arguing with them. First, you learn what they believe about the issue at hand and why they believe it. Second, from the way they argue you also learn about their values, their beliefs, and the ways in which they present them. You end up not only with insights into your argument partners’ positions, but your partners’ entire worldview as well.” -Michael Gilbert
This quote shows the benefits of arguments and they are that you get to know the person more. Arguments are hard to prevent because they form part in our lives and without them a lot of discoveries during the scientific revolution and other times in history wouldn’t have been made. However, harmful arguments are the ones that need to be prevented because why would you lose a great friend for a silly act that you didn’t mean to do and arguments can be prevented by several ways:
- If an action that you do bothers your friend or someone you know well enough and you know it bothers him or her then don’t do it. Don’t try to harm anyone in anyway because that is a major source of arguments
- If YOU start an argument try to end it as soon as possible without showing any signs of weakness. This sentence in bold is so important because in some cases when you try to end an argument people think that they are right and that you can’t defend yourself so they are going to take advantage of you.
- When you argue make sure you aren’t controlled by anger or try to limit your anger as much as possible
- remember that some people lie to keep themselves the winners of that argument so if you were able to detect a lie keep it to yourself and don’t tell them that you know they are lying because they will lie more.
“If your opposer says ‘Everyone knows…’–and you don’t know–then your opposer is wrong.” -Michael Gilbert And there is a lot more to that but these are the ones that come to the top of my head when I first think of suppressing an argument peacefully. The main thing is to never hurt someone physically or emotionally during an argument because it is not going to stay in their mind, it is going to stay in their heart forever and one day they will remind you of that “big argument” that took place among both of you. However some people say arguments aren’t that complicated, they are just moments of anger that pass by sometimes and then fade. That is true as well since most arguments are based on selfishness. Sometimes people are very selfish that they don’t care about what others need, but only care about themselves and this is a big deal that leads to several disputes. Life is like a swing sometimes up and sometimes down, we can’t control it but we can control ourselves A great source that has a lot of information about arguments is: http://research.biology.arizona.edu/mosquito/willott/323/argument.html I really liked this source since it is trusted (University of Arizona. It supplied me with a lot of information and I really loved the quotes of Michael Gilbert which support the text.